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EFF U WORTHY #35 Fact or Bullshit Baby?!

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Ahhhhh Super Sleuths, and those who just want to know useless bits of information about my life…

Do I have a post for YOU!

Below, you will find random facts. You guess if they are actually factual tidbits about my life or just plain utter bullshit. Fun huh? I thought so.

Duh duh duh Duuuuuuh… here we go!

1. While giving birth, as a DR and Med Student had their heads in the general vicinity of my nether regions. I was shocked to hear these words… “Wow! Thats ALOT of hair!”

Fact or Bullshit?

FACT!

They were not talking about ME, this is not the 70’s! Us ladies now-a-days are mindful of these things. My daughter was born with a FULL head of black hair. Long enough that in her newborn hospital pictures she has regular barrettes holding her hair out of her eyes. She thinks that story is hilarious. I don’t.

2. My EX looks so similar to my CURRENT, that I once opened the door to my EX without pants on, thinking he was obviously someone else.

FACT.

I learned that day to always wear my glasses when peering out the window to see who was here. I also learned that husband #3 will be Asian or maybe a woman. So much easier that way… KIDDING KIDDING KIDDING.

3. I broke a tooth on a Smartie, and although I don’t and haven’t had a cavity, that friggin’ tooth has cost me 1000’s of dollars to fix.

Huh huh?

BULLSHIT.

It was a REESE’S PIECES. God damn delectable piece of confectionery magnificence!

4. I suffer from a falainadolopsovovphobia.

FACT.

Also called orcusphobia, I have a hard core fear of Killer Whales. If I see them on TV, I stop breathing, I get sweaty and I feel like I will faint. I have terrifying nightmares involving Orcas where I wake up screaming. It is terrifying. Moral of the story, DO NOT ASK ME TO GO TO MARINELAND. Last time DID NOT work out well for me.

5. I once broke my foot by stepping on a Beanie Baby the wrong way.

What do you think?

BULLSHIT.

Seriously, is that even POSSIBLE?

6. My child’s father’s brother was named as her father on her official medical record.

??????

FACT.

EFFED up but totally true. He had a child not long before we did and we share the same DR and somehow his name was on the little yellow sheet of paper that you get to take with you to the hospital with all pertinent information for the delivery. It wasn’t even us who noticed, it was him weeks later while looking at the paper. It was corrected.

So, what do you think?

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About thediaryofaneffuaddict

I am a firm believer that I am surrounded by assholes and the intellectually stunted and it is my punishment for being just a little bit AWESOMER then I should be around these parts.

2 responses to “EFF U WORTHY #35 Fact or Bullshit Baby?!

  1. Red

    I loved this one. 🙂 Great work. 🙂

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