EFF U WORTHY #31 When good milk goes bad

I’m totally baffled as to how ONE of the 3 bags of milk in the pack can be bad. Not all 3, but just one.

Did they not ALL come from the same batch? Did someone switch one? If so, why?

I feel violated in some weird way. Someone got in there and checked out those bags before I did. Someone man-handled my milk. It feels wrong.

Is it just me?????

I think I need more sleep.

EFF U bad milk. EFF U!

 

 

Its that time again… Random SH!T I hate Thursday!

Dear Thursday 26 April 2012,

Please enjoy this list of random sh!t I hate…

1. People who argue even when they know they are wrong (this though, has the added benefit of them being proven wrong, and them KNOWING you KNOW they KNOW they were wrong!).

2. Lobster meat.

3.  When the bathroom stall doesn’t lock properly and you have to pee while kicking the door closed.

4.  Watching a movie someone has recommended only to discover it BLOWS hard and your friend might actually be an idiot for enjoying it in the first place.

5.  When a vending machine takes my money and gives me the snack food middle finger by not giving me my delicious and overpriced treat.

6. Eating yogurt with a metal spoon. I can’t do it. Its just WRONG!

Dear Thursday,

thanks for listening.

Sass.

 

EFF U WORTHY #30 And you thought I had forgotten you, you Fu*ker.

As with everyone, every where, I secretly harbor a list of people who (even seemingly forgettable) have really made an impression, pissing me off so memorably that I loathe you decades down the road.

1. The middle-age woman who worked at the food court in Centre Mall when I was  about 8 and mocked me in front of other customers when I asked to borrow some napkins (thinking I was being polite)… Thank you for instilling in me the need to get an education. I now know what happens when you sit in your stagnant life and don’t try to better yourself. You become a 40-ish woman who is missing teeth and selling burgers, making herself feel better by belittling children. THAT was a lesson well learned.

2. The snobby girl who when playing tag told everyone NOT to tag me because I would never catch anyone and the game would last forever. Because of you I took up running in high school. Thank you, I have killer legs.

3. To the gentleman who told me I was disgusting for breast feeding my baby in the waiting room of the ER, I would gladly do it again just to piss you off. Because you left the ER over my “behaviour” my child was seen sooner. She was transported to a children’s hospital and every second counted. Your ignorance may have saved my child life.

4. To the “friend” who “didn’t know” where my ex-husband was when trying to reach him and emailed me by mistake instead of him right after…it’s ok, I made out with your husband when we were teenagers before you were together and I KNOW why you are so miserable. *wink*

Assholes of the past,

EFF U.

Welcome to… Random Sh!t I hate Thursday!

So,

here is my thought process…

1. Wake up.

2. Should I get out of bed?

3. Housework… hmmm…

4. Blog?

5. What about? There is so much that has pissed me off this week and its only Thursday.

6. Booyah Bitches.

And so, welcome to… RANDOM SH!T I HATE THURSDAY!

 

Dear Thursday 19 April 2012,

here is some random sh!t that I hate:

when the seam at the toes of your socks gets bunched around your toes,

people (this means YOU family) walking on the floor with shoes on when you KNOW I just scrubbed it,

bridges,

killer whales (something about those larger than life and yet eerily human eyes makes me want to pass out),

people getting my name wrong when I repeated it ATLEAST 3 times,

when there is a dribble left in the bag of milk or jug of juice and no one sees fit to just drink it and refill it,

sitting my a$$ on the toilet and realizing no one replaced the toilet paper roll (even though the extras are RIGHT BESIDE THE TOILET),

country music,

the sound of hockey on tv,

people blaming Yoko for busting up the Beatles.

Dear Thursday thanks for listening.

Sass.

EFF U WORTHY #29 Thank God the Asshole gene skips a generation.

To my Dearly Beloved,

You are not responsible for the a$$holian actions of mega proportions that belong to the people in your life.

You are not expected to please others that have done nothing but belittle and hurt you.

You are not anyone’s whipping boy. You are no longer a 10 year old child.

You are not the protector of anyone else’s feelings.

You can not let the stupid, hurtful, short sighted actions of others have any bearing on your happiness.

You are responsible for you and you only.

Those that know you truly love you.

Those that truly love you wouldn’t intentionally hurt you.

You deserve better and you always have.

Misery loves company and they have plenty of it.

Miserable Selfish Assholes,

EFF U.

The facebook thread nearly KILLED me. OMG…

The Bearded Awesome

‘Tis the season for Lent, which means for a little while there might be a surplus of chocolate, soda, and masturbation.  But here in the 21st century, more and more people might be giving up social networking–which, if that’s what you’re giving up in the name of God or The Doctor or whoever, that probably means it qualifies as a big deal.  No doubt you’ve heard the constant debates over how social media is changing our culture for better or worse, though usually people say it’s for the worse.  I’ll take a wild guess and say you, the reader, have a Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, or some other knock-off like that “FriendZone” site the college kids are always talking about.


Oh.

I can’t really argue for the negative effects it has on society–just a quick glance at Twitter will prove that people are really, really stupid.  But there are…

View original post 2,671 more words

EFF U WORTHY # 28 Who knew laziness could come to bite you in the a$$ so hard that it would no longer be enjoyable?

Imagine having 6 people in your family.

Imagine the laundry that 6 people (the tween in particular) can create.

Now imagine folks that the opportunity arose where that laundry would be within steps, (or throwing distance really) to everyone’s beds. That would be totally freakin awesome right?

WRONG!!!!!!

People, unless your bedrooms are all in the basement or you live in a 1 floor bungalow, DO NOT GET EXCITED WHEN THE BUILDER SHOWS YOU THE PLANS FOR THE LAUNDRY ROOM BY THE BEDROOMS!

Play it cool. Don’t think about all the trips up and down the god forsaken stairs that you won’t have to make carrying the oldest child’s damn laundry. Don’t think about how everyone will be within spitting distance of the laundry hamper so maybe…maaaaaaybe, their laundry will ACTUALLY make it in there! Even… *gasp* BOTH SOCKS IN THE PAIR!

Those things might happen…

but you know what else might happen?

Your washing machine might flood and you might find yourself running around losing your mind trying to stop the ebb and flow of water that is POURING down 3 levels of your house, destroying everything in its path.

This sucks major a$$ people.

Trust me.

Suddenly the hike to the basement to wash everyone’s smelly socks and grubby sheets doesn’t seem so bad.

Maytag…

EFF U!

EFF U WORTHY #27 Ignorance hates what it doesn’t understand. I understand you’re just a douchebag.


I am getting pretty fed up and frankly, disgusted by the amount of IGNORANCE I am encountering daily.

By the lack of basic human decency.

By the hypocritical and hurtful behavior that we seem to be passing as socially acceptable.

Easter just passed us by. An important holiday to many Christians. You may not agree with the ideology, hell I don’t agree with the ideology, but how is it any less ignorant to belittle those that hold those beliefs than spouting hatred and contempt for any other religion?

How is it acceptable to hate any group of people?

Gays?

Religions?

Races?

Genders?

The uneducated?

The homeless?

But wait! you say… I don’t HATE anyone. I would NEVER do that…

Not all hatred is slap you in the face, spit in your direction, blatant.

Using your beliefs, religious or not, to belittle another person is not exactly covering them with a blanket of warm fuzzy feelings.

You don’t have AGREE with someone’s… beliefs, choices, love life…etc,  to show basic human compassion and tolerance. To treat someone as an INDIVIDUAL and judge them on THEIR merits or lack thereof alone.

I guarantee there is someone out there who thinks you are merely another a$$hole member of (fill in the blank).

I DO.

Ignorant a$$hole,

grow the eff up or

EFF U.