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EFF U WORTHY #14 Screw the gun I want the Phenobarbital


In proper Nerd/Fangirl fashion I often find myself discussing the eventuality of a Zombie attack, the superiority of Picard over Kirk (I don’t care people, Picard gets SH!T done!), Terminators vs Cylons ~ Who would you want on your side?

These conversations inevitably lead to longer discussions at home with my equally nerdy counterpart about how we would survive a Zombie Apocalypse.

Here are the ground rules we have established…

1. If he becomes a Zombie he will immediately be double tapped. He is stronger than I, I will stand no chance.

2. If I become a Zombie I will be kept lovingly in the back shed to play video games with. (which reminds me dude, you still have my Shaun of the Dead DVD… you know who you are).

3.  I am not sure a gun would be my weapon of choice. Where will I get bullets? How do I shoot it? How will I clean it? I am going with a shovel and baseball bat carried Deadpool style. A Katana sword will also be considered.  My Zombie killing partner (granted he isn’t infected) will carry the gun.

4. I want to be hospitalized and medically induced into a coma.

Why?

Think about it my little nerdlings…

The movie/tv show/video game starts with our hero waking up in a hospital. Confused. Pulls out the IV that is mysteriously in their arm. They stumble out of bed slowly realizing where they are. As they make their way out into the world they realize that they have been in a coma. Why? Doesn’t matter (gun shot, cloning experiments…) but they are ALIVE!  Not just alive, but ALIVE and pissed everyone is dead and trying to knaw on their face. Bast@rds!

Our hero awakens from a coma, a Zombie killing machine that you know will get the job done and outlast the god forsaken dead.

That my friends is my plan. So if we find ourselves under a Zombie Attack and I disappear, worry not. I have not fallen to the scourge, I am simply assuring our survival.

I will be back to say,

Zombies,

EFF U

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About thediaryofaneffuaddict

I am a firm believer that I am surrounded by assholes and the intellectually stunted and it is my punishment for being just a little bit AWESOMER then I should be around these parts.

One response to “EFF U WORTHY #14 Screw the gun I want the Phenobarbital

  1. Ed ⋅

    Please leave me in a medically induced coma if zombies attack, its seems I will not have a recollection of the event, and will survive by the laws of every zombie Story/Movies/Book, and will never have those traumatic flash backs. If I am thrown in to the Zombie Apocalypse, I would like to strapped up with one of those Guns that Jesse Ventura had in predator, I beleive it was called “old painless” M134 Minigun, which can fire 4000 rounds per minute. SWEET!! p.s. I would need a helper to carry my extra rounds of ammo. :-)…. Bring it Zombies!!!!!!

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