This is for my girl Sarah.
Dear HSR public transit rider,
I would like to thank you for taking the time to carefully scan the bus for the optimal seat and choosing the one holding my lunch to park your a$$ in.
I did get up early to make my lunch to take for work JUST so your a$$ would have an extra super cushiony place to park itself. I realize that all the other empty seats did not hold the allure of the one holding my sandwich. How could it? Nothing says comfort like a pile of pillowy tuna between two slices of soft white bread.
Thank you for allowing my hard work and dedication as the world’s greatest a$$ hat provider, to once again be confirmed.
It was worth not having a lunch to know that you are happy.